It’s not what you say, it’s not how you say it…it’s both!

En la boca cerrada no entran moscas.

It’s one of my favorite non-English idioms – Spanish for “Flies don’t go into a closed mouth.”

It’s a bit of wisdom that can be hard to follow for those of us who face the public for a living. We’re often extroverts, good talkers, eager for connection.

But sometimes you have to ask: just how hard is it to keep your mouth shut?

I’m writing this month’s article while on a short break – a long weekend on one of the islands off the Washington coast with my wife and another couple.

Yesterday, in the middle of dinner prep, I walked a few blocks to the local grocery to get butter. We had brought a couple loaves of my homemade sourdough with us, and creamy butter brings out the bite of the (literally) sour dough and balances the salt and seeds I put on the crust.

At the dairy case, I noticed that for many brands of butter, four-packs had been opened so shoppers could purchase a stick at a time. That makes sense here — plenty of visitors on the island who don’t want to pack groceries home at the end of the weekend.

I walked up to the front of the store and asked a staff member if it was okay to open other brands of butter. I wanted one stick of “cow butter” for our friends and one of plant-based butter for my wife and me. (One reason I emphasize the “hippie” in Hippie with an MBA is my mostly plant-based diet. 😋🌱)

The woman at the register assured me it was fine to grab whatever I needed. Her colleague — perhaps a manager — who had been chatting with her as I approached added, after I'd turned to walk back to the refrigerated case: “It’s $2.50 a stick.”

Why?

Maybe he thought he was being helpful. Maybe he wanted to avoid confusion at the register. Maybe he simply felt responsible for making sure I knew the policy.

But here’s the thing: I hadn’t asked about price.

Before he spoke, the interaction was simple (and, honestly, hadn’t included him when I made eye contact with the employee working the register): “Is it okay if I do this?”

After he spoke, the interaction shifted to: “Are you aware this is expensive?”

That’s a subtle but meaningful change.

In sales, customer success, and service roles, we learn early: take your cue from the customer.

When we introduce information the other person hasn’t asked for, three things can happen:

1. It helps.

2. It’s neutral, garnering no reaction.

3. It creates an objection that didn’t exist five seconds earlier.

Only one of those outcomes is clearly good.

Sometimes the issue is trivial — like five dollars’ worth of butter on a relaxing weekend. But when the stakes are higher, that extra bit of information can derail a perfectly good interaction.

A feature you mention invites comparison with a competitor.

A concern you raise suggests complexity the buyer hadn’t considered.

A detail you volunteer increases cognitive load when someone is already trying to decide.

A better approach is simple: stay curious and let the other person lead.

If something genuinely matters, ask a question. If the answer matters to them, they’ll tell you.

If it doesn’t matter to them — why introduce it?

While we’re on the subject, a great boss I had early in my career — who remains a friend to this day — gave me another piece of wisdom: “Don’t sell past the close.”

This is the other way our mouths get us into trouble.

Someone says yes to your proposal, your product, your idea — and suddenly the temptation appears: "Wait… one more thing."

You want to explain how smart their decision is.

How well the solution will serve them.

How happy they’ll be.

How great it’s all going to go.

Enthusiastically.

I fight that urge.

Because I’ve heard too many stories where “just one more thing” leads to the dreaded response: “Wait… what?”

Instead, when someone says yes, I pivot immediately to two things: gratitude and logistics.

Thank them.

Confirm next steps.

Move forward.

The time for persuasion is over.

So — perhaps big thoughts from someone who’s supposed to be relaxing for a long weekend.

But when customer success, journeys, and delight are your work, you’re never far from new source material.

So, say what needs to be said.

Know what your communication objective is.

And leave plenty of room for your customer’s voice.

And when the situation calls for it?

Well… keep your mouth closed.

Flies won’t get in.